Well the week of my return to the office is finally here and it hit me like a ton of bricks yesterday. Before Rylie woke up, I was thanking God for not being a train wreck and about how thankful I was for the strength He had given me. And then all of a sudden the tears started flowing. I guess I had only really thought about being at work and being away from Rylie…not actually LEAVING her. Once those thoughts set in, it was over! The rest of the morning continued to be incredibly difficult, but thankfully I had gotten everything together the night before so we weren’t rushing around like crazy people trying to get out the door.
When we got to the sitter’s, I walked around the car and looked at Rylie in her car seat through the window and the tears flowed even harder. She was as happy as could be and had no clue that I was about to leave her. It broke my heart to think of what would go through her mind when she realized that her Mommy wasn’t there later. And then when I got inside the tears just kept coming and I could barely even talk. I’m pretty sure I didn’t even tell our friend half of the stuff I intended to! But the very worst thing was actually walking out that door. It felt like I was giving my baby away and I just couldn’t handle it. I knew that I would see her later in the afternoon, but in the moment it felt like I was just leaving her and walking away. My heart was broken.
I was thankful for my long commute so that I had some time to process and somewhat pull myself together. I heard this song on the radio at just the perfect time. This part was a great reminder:
My God is strong and mighty
My God is faithful
My hope is in the Lord
For He is able
Of course the song brought more tears to my eyes, but they were good tears this time because I KNOW that my God is faithful and that He will get me through this.
When I got to work I was thankful for the fact that I get to work earlier than my co-workers! However, once they arrived and asked how I was doing, the tears just came right back. Nope. Not ready to talk about it yet! I had also brought a picture of Rylie to put on my desk, but had to put it away for the day because I just couldn’t look at her without crying. As the morning went on though, it got better and I even came back to my desk at one point to find a beautiful bouquet of flowers sitting on my desk from Van and Rylie.
The rest of the day went well and I was able to hold it together until I got home. Seeing Van holding our sweet girl looking out the window at me just melted my heart and I couldn’t wait to get Rylie in my arms. It was SO good to be home and I’m so thankful to be working from home today. What a blessing!! I’m happy to get that first day over with, but I have a feeling that the rest of the week won’t be much easier. With the Lord’s strength, I will make it through though.
In other news, here are some other things going on lately!
1. I went to another big consignment sale on Saturday with my mother in-law and oh my goodness did we come out with some great finds! I actually ended up with way more stuff (and spent even less) than last weekend! I have so many favorites, but this little Gymboree bathing suit set (for $2 by the way) just might be at the top of the list!
2. Rylie got an exersaucer for Christmas and Van put it together this past weekend. She has some growing to do before she can really play, but it was fun to watch her look at the toys on it! We have put her in it a few other times since then and she seems to be warming up to it. She usually keeps her hands down or clenched at first, but with Daddy’s urging she is slowing touching the toys now! She looks slightly terrified in this picture…
3. I’m not sure how many of you use Google Reader (for keeping up with blogs), but I was bummed to learn that Google is getting rid of it this summer! I’m looking for another Reader and have heard good things about BlogLovin and Feedly. Does anyone use either or have any other suggestions? One of the things I liked about Google Reader is that you didn’t see the ads that are on a lot of blogs. But that’s likely part of the reason they’re getting rid of it! Advertisers WANT you to see their ads. Who knew?!
4. Last night we decided that we needed a sweet treat so we made these super easy and delicious Chocolate Chip Cookies in a Cup. I was too excited to take a picture, but everything was mixed in the cup and it turned out deliciously! It was great to enjoy a cookie and not have several dozen sitting around tempting us. I want to try the Brownie in a Cup next!
5. I also made those Brownies with Whipped Peanut Butter Frosting that I mentioned on Saturday. They didn’t turn out nearly as pretty, but the taste? Oh yes. Don’t tell, but I used a boxed brownie mix to save time and they were still amazing. You can’t really go wrong with brownies and peanut butter, can you?
6. I’m realizing that I talk a lot about sweet things here. Maybe if I cut them out I could lose a few pounds. I usually only make stuff to take places, but who wants to cut out the sweets? I surely don’t!
7. While I was out on maternity leave, my team moved to a new building that was completely renovated. The space is really bright, clean and open. I can even see out the window at all hours of the day! One of the perks is that we have a pellet ice machine! It’s really close to my desk, which is fabulous! That made me happy-ish yesterday!
8. It’s a fact that Rylie isn’t the biggest fan of accessories, especially on her head. But she’s getting better! She didn’t even get upset when I put this little hat on her the other day. It matches a sweet seersucker dress and I can’t wait for her to wear it!
9. Toting around our stuff yesterday was made easier with this super cute bag from my friend Makenna! Of course I love the little cupcake keychain and the fact that it says ‘The Lamberts’!
10. We’re going to the Pancake Dinner at the Boys & Girls’ Club on Thursday. If you live in the area, you should join us!